Shingles is a very painful condition that usual targets the elderly.  The good news is that once you get it, in most cases you won’t get it again.  Also good news, recovery for most is swift.  But for my grandmother, her recent bout with Shingles is the last straw.

 At 96, Gaga (as we affectionately call her) lives on her own in Philadelphia.  She lives in a great apartment building for seniors.  The property is secure and has many conveniences,  an activity room, a library, computer center, fitness center, endless activities and the residents take regular field trips… including shopping trips to the grocery store.  The only thing that is not here is some type of assisted living program.

 My grandmother is amazingly active… even cooking and cleaning for herself.  But lately, I must admit, she is showing signs of aging that has me concerned about her living on her own.  Gaga, being very much in her right mind, is concerned also.  That’s why she says she wants to move to an assisted living facility.

 I must admit, at first I had reservations.  We’ve all heard the horror stories associated with these facilities.  And, of course, I can’t help thinking when I get that age, I don’t want to live in a rest home.  Isn’t that what family is for?  To take care of our elders until they go to that final resting place? 

 It is a difficult choice for so many families, especially when that elderly loved one needs constant care or medical attention.  Providing that care can be emotionally and physically taxing, as well as time consuming for family members… which can bring a tremendous strain to the household.   And hiring good help can be expensive.

 Being in her right mind,  Gaga says very often and very firmly (she is a feisty one)  that she does not want to move to Georgia (where my mother lives)  because her friends are here in Philly.  She adds that it also doesn’t make sense because she believes she will die soon and there will be the added cost to transport her body back the Philly, where her funeral and burial have already been paid for.  She also says she refuses to be a burden. 

 I still can’t help but feel guilty, but today I am here in Philly and we are going to look at assisted-living/rest homes.  The good news is that my grandmother can afford to live in a kind of upscale facility.  She and my grandfather, who died two years ago, were big savers.

 All of this has me thinking about living out those final years.  Especially about those who could not save enough to afford proper care they may require in their senior years.  It breaks my heart to think about the countless number of elderly who probably lived very rich and fulfilling lives but will now spend those final years poor, alone and most likely, neglected.  They deserve better.