Other than a relative or close friend of President Obama and the First Lady, in my mind I can’t imagine who is more proud than I am of his becoming our first African American President (well… those who lived through the civil rights movement are probably ahead of me on the proud thing). Both President and Mrs. Obama inspire and influence me personally. But I am also encouraged by how they will change the way the world looks at African Americans and the way we look at ourselves. Without question, doors will be open for us collectively in ways we never dreamed. It won’t happen overnight, but I believe a shift is already underway.

With that said, African Americans must realize this inevitable change for Black people is not the sole responsibility of Mr. and Mrs Obama. Every move they make does not have to have a direct tie to the African American community. In fact, it would be a mistake if they operated that way.

Of course I am expressing these thoughts after complaints that Michelle Obama did not choose the design of an African American for her Inauguration dress. And to those who are upset about it, I say “Get Over It!” (but I say it with love).

Don’t get me wrong, I get what it would have meant to that Black designer, had he or she been selected to design Michelle Obama’s Inauguration dress… a dress that will be placed in the Smithsonian along side the other First Lady Inaugural dresses. That kind of recognition could have blown up that designer bigger than they probably ever imagined. To see that happen for an African American designer would have made me very happy.

Heck… it would have been nice if Obama’s entire cabinet and staff members were all Black. It would have been touching if Sasha and Malia attended a Black school, the students, teachers, staff…. all Black. It would have been great if only Black bands were hired to play at all of those Inauguration Balls, or if Obama’s Air Force One pilot was black. Furthermore, it would have been wonderful if only Black journalist were allowed to cover the Inuguration for various media outlets (that way they all had to go out and hire Black reporters and videographers and producers).

And if that were the case I think we would perform in all of those positions brilliantly, because we are a brilliant and talented people. But… let me repeat what I know many of you have heard, but refuse to embrace. Barack and Michelle are not just ours. We have to share them with everybody else. Beyond that, it is the responsibility of The President of the United States to represent all people. So as African Americans we should accept what that means. It means Michelle had every right to hire the young Asian-American designer that created the dress she wanted to wear.

It amazes me that we treat our new President and Michelle like they have no desire to relate to or embrace the Black community over a decision about a dress. What about their choice to have Beyonce sing “their song” as they danced at the Inauguration Ball? Or having The Queen of Soul sing “My Country Tis of Thee”? What about having his Kenyan grandmother on the main Inauguration platform along with Dr. Martin Luther Kings relatives? What about having Rev. Joseph Lowery close out the swearing in ceremony with the benediction.

Or for that matter… years before he even thought about becoming President, he made the choice, as a biracial man to embrace his Blackness instead of rejecting it. For example, marrying a brown skinned sister… who in her senior thesis while at Princeton wrote that her time at the school had made her far more aware of her Blackness. As a young couple, they joined a Black church where his children were baptized. Obama worked as community organizer in the Black community instead of taking a corporate job out of law school. He traveled to Africa to learn about his relatives there. The couple puts braids in their daughters hair. And they chose Black people, such as Reggie Love, (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Vote2008/story?id=5606643 ), to be their personal aids, which includes spending lots of time around their children.

And I have to add… how many of us can truly cast the first stone at Michelle when it comes to choosing African American designers? Who made your wedding dress? Who made the outfits your children were baptized in? Their graduation outfits? Your daughters prom dress? What you wore on New Year’s Eve? For that matter, who made that purse you have on your arm?

Again, I sincerely will celebrate each time an African American is selected to play a role in in the Obama Presidency. However, as I said earlier that change Barack campaigned on does not lie solely in the hands of our President or our First Lady when it comes to Black people. But they are the inspiration, the hope, the light at the end of the tunnel we need to make life for Black people in this country better than it has ever been.

Still here in DC… just hours away from Inauguration.  Everyday is full of events around the clock.  I was honored to be featured on a panel of dynamic women discussing “What Obama’s Presidency means to us”.  It was me, Star Jones (who looks AMAZING), Mikki Taylor of Essence Magazine, Author and former music exec. Jackie Rhinehart, People magazine’s  Amy Keith and HIV-AIDS activist Maria Davis.

We discussed where we were on election day, how Obama can influence the overall image of African Americans and what are today’s pressing women’s issues.  On the latter, I said “being single is an epidemic for Black women”.  I mean Oprah dedicated an entire show on the fact that an overwhelming majority of Black women are single.  And for those of us who want to have kids… tick tock.

I am not saying Obama should get into matchmaking, but the future of the Black family needs some attention.  Talk of there being a shortage of eligible Black men is nothing new.  There are even some who feel the “Black Male shortage” is a myth” (check out this article, “Is there a shortage of Black men, or are women just too picky? ‘We count Black men, don’t we?’”). But let me say this…  Is a woman’s attraction to financial or professional success in a man so different from a man’s attraction to the most beautiful (face and body) woman he can find?  For most men and women, despite these superficial attractions, in the end your connection with the person, your compatibility that determines the final decision.  And define picky.  Are we supposed to just date anyone who comes along?  Substance abuser, lack of work ethic, doesn’t want children, abusive (physically or emotionally) to women, the player, a man with six kids by six different women, the man that doesn’t believe in personal hygine, the man that doesn’t even know who Dick Cheney is, etc.  Please.  I can give you examples of women who got with men in each of these situations and ended up with a broken heart or worse.

The fact is if a Black woman wants to marry a Black man (and I get that we can date outside of our race), but if you want a Black man, it won’t be easy.  There are many wonderful brothers out there (I know many of them) but there are 100 Black women to every 70 Black men (not inlcuding brothers in prison or halfway houses); Black men enter interracial marriage at a higher rate than any other race or gender, and at twice the rate of black women;  the marriage rate for Black people dropped 34 percent between 1970 and 2001; 44% of Black men and 42% of Black women have never been married; black women are the most unpartnered group in the world; and Black women are 5 times more likely to be single at age 40.

I am not trying to be negative or discouraging.  And most of all I am not trying to be down on the brothers. I love Black love.  And I am hopeful that the loving example by Barack and Michelle becomes part of the solution.  All I am saying is this is an issue that needs much more attention and doesn’t need to keep being dismissed as sisters just singing the blues.

So I am here in DC with my sister, my mother and my 95 year old grandmother.    Thanks to early planning, we are booked at a hotel right in the heart of downtown dc… not too far from the Capitol.  We have a lot of events to attend over the next few days and then  I have to get to work for TV One as part of the network’s all day coverage on Inauguration day.

I really didn’t expect to see Barack or Michelle and the girls until Tuesday’s swearing in… but I just saw them!!!!!!  Ok… it was actually the President-elect’s motorcade, but when that limo wizzed by, police escort and all,  I got chills. Our car had to pull over as the motorcade flew by, but I caught a quick glipse of what looked like the first family.  I know… why am I so excited about this “glimpse”? Shouldn’t it have sunk in by now?  Not for me.  It can’t believe it is really about to happen.  Barack Obama is about to become our 44th President.